Painting The Roses Red


“As much as we thirst for approval we dread condemnation.” -Hans Selye

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God has really put it on my heart to write on the subject of honesty.

While witnessing to several people over this past month, I noticed that the majority of them seemed to share the same feelings of unworthiness and regret.

Worse however, they all seem to be in the same season of denial in regards to their situations.

In one way or another, each person had expressed to me that they were feeling lost. That they could not seem to find one glimmer of hope. Absent of faith and out of patience.

Immediately a familiar song, “Painting The Roses Red” , from Lewis Carroll’s Alice and Wonderland popped into my head.

(Click the link above to view lyrics)

Many people claim to be living a happy life, but in actuality they are only hiding behind the walls of what they believe happiness should look like to others.

If we are living only on the outside, but dying on the inside, that kind of suffering can only remain undetected for so long.

When we try to paint our hearts red (full of love, God, goodness and purpose) but can’t even feel them beating in our chests, we set ourselves up for inevitable damage.

When our lives become more like lies then we need to be aware that God eventually will expect us to reveal our true colors.

If we do not get honest with ourselves and others willingly, God will most definitely allow circumstances in our lives to do it for us.

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“The white rose is the symbol of purity and innocence. However, if everyone were to be a white rose, none would truly be white. We grow, we make mistakes, and who doesn’t bleed nor have a scar? Painting the roses red is our cycle of life in all it’s mystery.
Everyday of life is another day towards deaths arms…Are you living or dying?
Reality: Life is the ONLY most contradicting phenomena ever.
How good of a painter are you?”- Philosophy by MKR

James 4:6 – God shows favor to the humble and oppressed

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The reason our faith grows grey and our hearts lose their beat is not because God has forgotten about us or because we are not useful to Him any longer.

Faith fades when we suffocate our spirit and live to serve our flesh.

If we lose hope in God then that means we have put too much of it in the world.

We cannot be two shades of ourselves in this life. If we are on fire for God and trust in His plans for us, the embers of that fire should burn brightly for the world to see!

If we refuse to be the color God needs us to be in a black and white world, we cannot be surprised when we are left feeling dull, inadequate, or bored while others beautifully color the pages.

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“The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw.” -Havelock Ellis

God knows your heart, your desires, and your priorities.

He created us all with beautiful flaws, each of us a unique shade of who He is, and collectively we are breathtaking by His design.

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“Lean too much on the approval of people, and it becomes a bed of thorns.” -Tehyi Hsieh

If your heart is hurting, don’t paint a coat of denial over it thinking nobody will notice.

God knows what is underneath.

Be sure you remain true to what’s right; remain true to the truth.

Short cuts to happiness will only leave you with short term happiness.

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Maryanne Williamson

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. – 2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)

While I Was Waiting


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Tonight was both one of the most amazing nights I have had in a long time as well as one of the most disturbing.
It all started this afternoon when I got the news that God has blessed me with yet another new job opportunity! I have been offered the position of house manager at a Christian drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility here in So Cal. The pay is significantly more than what I have been making this last year and I am now able to make a career out of encouraging others! Not only will I be mentoring clients in their recovery from addiction, but more importantly I will be helping them strengthen their walk with Jesus. I can humbly say it is a privilege to be able to do such intimate work for The Lord and only because I too have been where these clients are now.

As you all know, the whole foundation of my ministry/radio show is built upon the truth that only God can turn your mess into a beautiful message! He has done it for me once again this last few months.

My dads passing away last month has been the most heart breaking experience I have ever walked out. Thank God for my training up in faith or else I would never have had the ability to stand after such a blow to my spirit.

The death of our flesh is not the end of our lives, but rather the beginning of them. Jesus has conquered every thing that tries to keep us from Him including the grave. Death has lost it’s sting and I can find joy in Him. In truth.

But what about the ones who don’t know Jesus? Where do these people find hope when lost in despair?
What about those who think this life is all there is?
What about the ones the devil has convinced will never make it or that they couldn’t if they wanted to?

Well…
I have been wanting to see my favorite band, The Kooks, live in concert for years, but have never been able to afford tickets. My sister was able to get us cheap tickets a couple months back and blessed me with the opportunity to go see them tonight!

Needless to say the show was epic! For the first time since my dad passed away last month, I actually danced like no one was around, laughed along side my twin sister and good friend/room mate and whole heartedly enjoyed being amongst a big crowd of strangers.

While I was waiting for the show to start, I spent about an hour and a half out on the venue’s patio chatting with my sister and my friend.

In my life and in ministry, God often places me in large crowds of different people, but all of which suffer from the same type of spiritual warfare.

My experience on a night out can be very different than others and it usually is. Tonight was so exception.

A few random guys walked up and began talking to us about which band we came to see. The venue had different rooms for different artists so the crowd was… Colorful you could say….

These guys said they were seeing a rap artist called Brotha Lynch Hung…Apparently the hottest new rapper with a huge following.

I mentioned I had never heard of him and one guy began to tell me why I should listen to him and why he is the best rapper… (This list is real)
1) he raps about cannabalism
2) he raps about “crock rocks” – a combination of smoking bath salts and crack
3) he is a crack head
4) he is high on MDMA when performing
5) it’s not what he raps about, but it is what he raps about…
(Huh?)

As this guy is rambling on about this rappers “talent”, he then casually mentions that one time while high on bath salts someone had ate the face off someone.

I looked at him and asked him why canabalism and being a crack head were appealing to him and he said it’s just the new thing these days…. While wearing a rosary around his neck….
I grabbed it and asked him if Jesus meant anything to him or if he just sport the cross as a necklace? He said he was a Christian…. Or whatever. I nodded in utter disbelief then he walked away…

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Shortly after, another young guy asked us if had a lighter he could use to smoke his weed… I said no and suggested maybe he should just not smoke weed. He walked away, came back with a lighter and then blew weed smoke in my face. I asked him to take it elsewhere and that pot is lame contrary to what the “cool kids” are saying these days. He then got offended by my asking him to not smoke pot anywhere near me… He was offended…

This is our youth ladies and gentlemen.
They would rather medicate themselves with bath salts, eat each other’s faces and listen to songs about cannabalism than be accountable for anything that takes guts or application.

Jesus is the problem? Let’s purge Christianity/God and humility out of schools so you can make more room for this filth in your classrooms and venues?

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The utter lack of feeling anything for anyone but yourself is sick and it’s spreading like a plague. People are not dumb, they are worse.. They are numb.

All those who think they can run things better without God better Get a clue before anymore kids kill themselves on your watch.

Jesus brings life. We seek to mock it, mutilate it and eventually destroy it.

Just saying… This happened tonight. What happens tomorrow??

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Cabbages and Kings


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I have been a fan of Author, Lewis Carroll my entire life. In fact, his work has played a major part in my wanting to become a writer myself.
Lewis Carroll not only captivates his readers, but also literally takes them captive through his use of mind twisting allegory and his play on words.

Jesus, much like the poems and writings of Carroll, also used parables as means of ministering to groups of people because it made His teachings easier for them to understand. Ironically, many fail to see the meaning behind the story and only take away from the lesson just that… A story.

Behind every fable there is a fact.
Behind every parable there is a point.
I thought it would be interesting to demonstrate how, if we learn to read beyond the words we read or hear, we
can find invaluable wisdom and moral guidance.

Many do not know the very real story behind Lewis Carroll’s Alice In Wonderland. Many do not know his personal connection to each character and in turn they see it merely as a children’s book.

The Walrus And The Carpenter brilliantly shows us the heart of the arrogant man and the nativity of the innocent. It warns us not to trust what man says and what happens when we follow our own advice.

God will never tempt you away from safety and allow the wilderness to devour you. The enemy on the other hand will lead you right into his dining room and have you as his main course!

Do not be arrogant. Do not follow fools.
Seek God in all situations. Let the Bible be your tool.

Man thinks he has it all, but without God he has nothing. No king, president, or ruler can ever eradicate sickness or suffering, yet God willingly does so.

God is the sovereign ruler of the universe and His kingdom shall reign forever. Don’t build castles in the sand and expect them to stand.
God is God. Man is just man.

THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER

Tweedle Dum:
The sun was shining on the sea
Shining with all his might

Tweedle Dee:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright

Tweedle Dum:
And this was odd because it was

Both: The middle of the night

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Tweedle Dee:
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand

Tweedle Dum:
The beach was wide
From side to side
But much too full of sand

Carpenter:
Mr. Walrus!

Tweedle Dee:
Said the Carpenter

Carpenter:
My brain begins to perk
We’ll sweep this clear
In ‘alf a year
If you don’t mind the work

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Walrus: Work?!
The time has come…

Tweedle Dee: The Walrus said

Walrus:
To talk of other things
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings
Calloo-Callay
No work today!
We’re cabbages and kings

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Oh, uh, Oysters, come and walk with us
The day is warm and bright
A pleasant walk
A pleasant talk
Would be a sheer delight

Carpenter:
Yes, should we get hungry on the way
We’ll stop and, uh, have a bite

Walrus: Ahem!

Tweedle Dum:
But Mother Oyster winked her eye
And shook her heavy head
She knew too well this was no time
To leave her Oyster bed

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Mother Oyster:
The sea is nice,
Take my advice
And stay right here

Tweedle Dee:
Mum said

Walrus: Yes, yes, of course, of course, but, uh, ha, ha!
The time has come, my little friends
To talk of other things
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
Cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings, ha ha
Callo-Callay
Come, run away
With cabbages and kings!

Well, now, uh, let me see
Ah, a loaf of bread is what we chiefly need!

Carpenter:
Listen, how ’bout some pepper and salt and vinegar, eh?

Walrus:
Well, yes, yes, splendid idea, ha ha!
Very good, indeed
Now, if you’re ready, Oysters, dear
We can begin the feed

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Oysters: Feed??!

Walrus: Oh, yes…
The time has come, my little friends
To talk of food and things

Carpenter:
Of peppercorns and mustard seeds
And other seasonings!
We’ll mix ’em all together
In a sauce that’s fit for kings
Calloo-Callay
We’ll eat today
Like cabbages and kings!

Walrus: I, uh…
I, I weep for you. I (hic), oh excuse me
I deeply sympathize
For I’ve enjoyed your company, oh much more
Than you realize

Carpenter:
Little Oysters? Little Oysters?

Tweedle Dee:
But answer, there came none

Tweedle Dum:
And this was scarcely odd because

Both:
They’d been eaten
Every one!

Walrus: Hm… Well, uh… Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ahem, uh… The time has come!

Tweedle Dee and Dum: With cabbages and kings!

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Relapse: The Familiar Fall


A man should never put on his best trousers when he goes out to battle for freedom and truth. – Henrik Ibsen

A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart. We know so many things, but we don’t know ourselves! Why, thirty or forty skins or hides, as thick and hard as an ox’s or bear’s, cover the soul. Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there.” -Meister Eckhart

Faces covered in mud, knees scraped and covered in blood.
Minds spinning like a DJ, while our focus fades away.
The way we are left when we run before we should,
The way we refuse to listen even though we could.
Groove slam work it back, one slip up and our world’s off track.
Where was our reverence when the hunger returned?
Why did we choose to repeat the lessons already learned?
Oh that’s right, we are but fools,
Dangle disaster in front of us and our mouths drool.
So much grace God, so much time,
Yet here we go playing ourselves one more time.
Help us to stop this track on repeat,
The melody of our old selves and our defeat.
With eyes full of tears, our ears are closed,
To your wisdom and to you telling us how not to end up below.
Tricky is the trap and we waltz right in,
Only to have You come and untangle us once again.
Help us to fall, but into Your peace,
To free us from the enemy’s grip only You can release.
Groove slam work it back, seek You first so we don’t relapse.
-Erica D

But You, Oh Lord, are a shield for me, My Glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill.

Psalm 3:3-4

I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4:8

Song Lyrics to the featured video of Freedom by Josh Garrels

Professional or beginner doesn’t matter
Every sinner is a prisoner in a body that is subject to time
Now my entwined mind tries to form a straight line
Not like twisted scoliosis of the spinal chord

Construct
Cross eyed carpenters are cuttin’ crooked lines
Can’t construct
Man-made shrines when the winds and the water move sands of time

Many minds on a deadline yet live life like a live wire
I’m not tired!
Of blood and fire
Spirit’s moving higher than the green grass ever lifted me

Spirit’s moving higher…
Than anything else ever lifted you
Mm see

We got spirituality
It’s living in us like one in three
Injustice is concerning me
In the non-linear eternity
I’m speaking paradoxically
But you can nod your head now when you understand me-e-e-ee…

This is for my free men
Whose backs wont bend in the lions den
Now with their eyes on the ending

This is for my free women!
They fight with their love
The bearers of our children

Free men whose backs wont bend in the lions den
Now with their eyes on the ending

This is for my free women
They fight with their love
The bearers of our children

We shine like lights exposing
What lies underneath decomposing
Unearth those chains that are rusted
My sweet Lord is that what I trusted in?
That sin? that tomfoolery? ugh!
What it is, is mental jewelry that I adorned myself with

The enemy’s gifts the man-made myths the ignorant bliss
Of marijuana spliffs and alcoholic fifths
I got so sick and tired of it

Delivered and redeemed
By Christ I mean
It’s time to start livin’
And get a reason for the rhyme

I don’t wanna be dead-wrong on the deadline
Standing on the dark side and all out of time…
Like a blind pantomime’s fantasize
Climb up his own ladder to the sunshine

Nothin’s mine
That hasn’t been given
No ones alive here
That hasn’t been risen
For 19 years i was trapped in a prison

Feeding my escape by means of derision
But every man-made attempt just failed
When trapped in a jail
Of my own guilt shame and iniquity

I was looking for freedom
How’d I find freedom?

Oh! oh freedom…
From all of this

He said believe
He said believe

Who are you telling me to belei-e-eve… yea
‘said I’m the Christ

Oh!
…He said I’m the Christ

So i believed.

Freedom!

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