This message contains an actual poem I wrote a couple years back that I randomly stumbled upon while going through old notes on my Facebook.
The way I felt after re reading this poem is a bit hard to describe. I was going through a time of testing in regards to unhealthy, worldly relationships, however had no clue of this at the time so I was suffering very badly emotionally.
The way I was taken for granted, disrespected, and broken down by this person was the most painful experience I have ever been through. It was a result of my voluntary seperation from my spiritual walk and with that seperation came the enemy’s opportunity to play head games with me. I became the victim he convinced me I was. I then lost myself and the ability to hear God’s voice as he rambled off his laundry list of all I was not.
Ironically , this was also God’s opportunity to teach me about what it feels like when He is not at the center of things. How it turns out when we would rather pursue the people or things which we know very well have no business being chased after, yet make them our primary objects of devotion.
Idols are disappointing. They will all be destroyed by the real deal. God’s love is unsearchable, but He always finds a way to you. There is nowhere to hide from His love. The dark always will be brought to light.
The point I am trying to make through all of this is simply that I get it. I hurt, i have hurt, badly. We all have had an experience where we chose the world instead of God which left us without, stressed out, and only a bad ending to talk about. A time where God was showing us through a painul experience just how happy you can be if you allow yourself to be with Him by your side.
It has now been about Two years or so since I have heard from or seen this man I speak about because I finally chose to listen to God. I chose to trust He had something better in store and to walk away from what obstructed my path to obtaining it.
It is one choice at a time. It may seem tough, but I can be a witness to God’s promise it will never hurt that way again! Believe that you are a gem. Do not allow anyone or anything take you from yourself! Below is where I was. Above is where our healing comes from and God’s Word is what we stand on in between.
Be happy, be bright, be YOU! In Jesus name
“my head is aching, my body is tired. my patience worn thin and our time expired. i need to sleep but instead i pace. emotions stand in front of me and pain laughs in my face. its so very clear that this is not what i need. that no matter how i try to force this i wont succeed. its a lesson learned and i am stronger than this. the verdict has been read, case dismissed. why do we like to hurt so much? why cant we simply look instead we have to touch? the flame draws us near though the burn is a promise. one of these days we will learn to just be honest. to ourselves and let it go. all the twisted nonsense that eats away at us slow. all of the games that we are convinced we must play. of the idea that we will never just be happy some day . i hold hope tightly and kiss it good night. together its inevitable we will win this fight….. ”